Dear Miss Phoebe,

My best friend keeps talking about my new boyfriend behind his back.  She tells me that he’s no good, that he’s cheating on me, we’ll break up soon.  Worse, she goes around town telling the same to other people, as if she knows everything because she’s my friend.  I don’t want to be rude, but I need her to stop the gossip. What can I do?

Annoyed at Small Talk

Dear Annoyed,

Is there any chance that your friend is correct?  If so, have a heart-to-heart talk with her.  Ask her to tell you every reason why she’s saying what she does.  Listen, and thank her.  Then think it over.  Once she’s spoken her mind, perhaps she will stop.

If she’s making things up, it’s possible that she’s worried that your new boyfriend is going to monopolize your time and she’ll lose you as a friend.

The worst that can happen is that these allegations are true, and she’s aware of them because she’s the one he’s sleeping with.

– Miss Phoebe

Miss Pheobe, Sage Advice